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don’t rush me.

Sometimes, people like to tell me that they feel inspired by the quotes or sentiments I share. My usual response is that I need the inspiration as much as the next girl, and I like to share things like my personal ‘note to self’ quite frankly.

So here’s my latest note to myself…. don’t rush. Don’t rush yourself. Don’t let society rush you. Or friends rush you. Or comparison rush you. Or the devil rush you. Or any other force that’s making you feel like you’re falling behind in your own life. I have friends that are married. I have friends that have babies or babies on the way. I have friends that have found that forever kind of love. I have friends that are casually dating. I have friends that just signed a contract for their dream job. I have friends planning a big move after graduation. I have friends that are in a season of life that isn’t fun. I have friends that are taking one day at a time. I have friends jumping in head-first. All of these scenarios are okay. All of these scenarios are not my scenario.

Don’t. Rush. Me.  – a note to self.

Let’s get one thing straight: I love being twenty-one. I am ONLY twenty-one… and that is fantastic. I am learning to soak in the sunshine in this season of my life. I have loved my collegiate experience, but I’m happy it’s coming to a close. I have five more years on my parents health insurance. I can order as many pink fruity cocktails as I want. I can book a flight to anywhere in the world and have an adventure. However, the things I stated above (love, babies, marriage, careers) often tempt me with negative thoughts; the idea that I’m somehow ‘behind’ in my own life perforate my mind more often than I would like to admit.

I’ve been turning this thought over and over in my head for weeks. WEEKS, y’all. And it seems like everywhere I turned I’m being subjected to quotes, media, and an unusual influx of awesome wisdom in this area of timing and placement and comparison and youth. (including those ten-year challenge photos… I did not participate but sure did enjoy seeing everyone in their pre-pubescent glory)

So here’s the gist of it… I’ve compiled some awesome thoughts from other people and Pinterest and books and other fun places as reminders to myself and others, paired with some personal reflection on each tidbit. Here we go:

“I can’t count the number of times in my life when I’ve beaten myself up because I thought my goals had expiration dates.”

Rachel Hollis (Girl, Wash Your Face) 

Okay, wow. This hit me as I’m reading through and I had to stop and underline these words. My goals do not need expiration dates from me or from anyone else. I have time. I am only twenty-one and I am allowed to be young and strive for my dreams with grit and grace. Set goals, not time limits.

“Some days life is all about your dreams, hopes, and vision for the future. But there are some days when life is just about putting one foot in front of the other. And that’s okay.”

Unknown

I like this. I like this a lot. I don’t need every single day of my life to be spent focusing on the future. Some days I need to spend time getting through today and living my life in the here and now.

“I am 21 years old. No I don’t own a home. No I don’t know what I’m doing after gradation. Yes my parents pay my phone bill & car note. I am allowed to be in my twenties, change my mind, have help, take my time, figure out my life, and have fun doing it. Stop rushing life.”

@ajoielle on Twitter

yessssss, sis. I’m so in this boat. I am so blessed to have supportive parents and blessed to live in a season of the unknown. There will be so much in life that is determined or pre-determined for me. Right now, I’m basking in the glory of God’s plan and God’s timing. I refuse to rush my own life into a season that’s not meant to be for me.

“We’re obsessed with this idea of being domesticated and having our shit together. It’s kind of sad actually because I don’t think we ever get a chance to enjoy our youth. We’re so concerned about doing things “the right way” that we lose any sense of pleasure in doing this the wrong way. Live now and make mistakes. Live in the present and grow up in the process.”

Unknown

Grow up in the process. Let’s not have our shit together. Let’s be messy. Let’s drink tequila. Let’s split our pants on the 9 dance floor during finals week. (Okay.. I’d prefer to not do that one again.) Let’s make some freakin’ memories while we are 21 so we have some good stories to tell our grandbabies, y’all.

“I’m too young to feel like I’m running out of time.”

Unknown

I have so much life to live (God-willing). I have survived so much thus far and am so proud of the progress I’ve made… but I hope I have only lived 1/4 or 1/5 of my life. THINK ABOUT THAT. I have lived not even a quarter of my life and I feel rushed? No way, JosĂ©. I have such a big, beautiful, wide, wonderful life ahead of me that will be filled with more adventure and love and light that I can possibly imagine.

“Your twenties are not your years to make money. Your twenties are your years to find yourself and have fun in the process.”

my future boss (whoop whoop)

Heck yeah, boss man. I am here to make some memories, to have fun, to travel, to laugh, to dance. I am not here to adhere to other people’s guidelines or ideas for who I should be or how to live my life. I don’t need to make money. I need to find myself.

“Happiness is not a checklist. A dream job, a fast car, a good home, even love, mean nothing at all if you have not yet found a way to feel full and content in your own mind and heart.”

@aburt17 on Twitter

Goodness gracious it’s difficult to be 21, graduating college, and single in South Dakota. Comparison hits you like a truck full of heart-shaped cement bricks. If you would have asked me a year and a half ago, I would have said I thought I’d be getting married this summer. HA! I have to laugh because I’m still a kid in so many (wonderful) ways. I love to be an adult and am learning to thrive off of my own independence, but deep down we all have a biological and physiological need to feel loved. Acknowledge that. Lean into that need… but do not succumb to the need. Do not settle for less because your heart yearns for love. This leads right into my next quote….

“I owe it to the person I’m going to be with to keep going and fighting for love, because at the end of the day that’s the only thing that will get me closer to my person.”

Katy Bellotte (Thick & Thin Podcast, Ep. 8)

Whatever this looks like for you: self-care, taking personality test, figuring out your love language, wearing more cute outfits, going out more often, swiping on the dating app (not for me, but you do you boo)… find ways that can only enhance your journey to love. In the end, I’m a faithful person and my momma is the first one to remind me that God will place Mr. Right in my life with the time is right. I am just doing what I can with what I’ve got (me and my own personal choices) to advance those odds. Or recognize that right now in this season of my life I’m not meant to be preparing for loving Mr. Right by dating casually… I’m preparing for Mr. Right by learning how to love myself for exactly who I am.

“She is going to travel the world one day. But first she has to accept this journey that she is on. The path her life is on, is only for her eyes. The lessons she learns each day, are only for her mind. This adventure she lives, is only for her.”

T. A. Bhatti (@tbhatti7 on Instagram)

This is the final nugget of knowledge I’ll drop on you (and myself) tonight. I tend to re-read my blogs a lot. I write exactly how I speak, and I feel like re-reading my blogs is like giving my weak self a pep-talk from my stronger self. 🙂

I hope that you can relate to these feelings of rushed-ness. Let’s collectively take a big breath and thrive in the sunshine today. This season of life, this journey, this path, this lesson, this adventure is ONLY FOR YOU. Let’s live like it.

always,

alex.

messy hair, wrinkled shirt, tongue out. 21. just doin’ me.
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see brave, be brave.

I saw a photo yesterday on Instagram. I had to hunt awhile today to find it again because I wanted to make sure to share the words correctly. The author, @mariandrew, captioned this photo “counterintuitive life hacks.” It’s basically action to take if you feel something negative in your life. I didn’t really think much of this graphic until later in my day I realized how relevant it could be in my life.

by @mariandrew on Instagram.

Of course, the last on the list hit me the hardest.

Now, let’s rewind to Friday evening. I was snuggled in my bed around 9:30 p.m. (attempting to get more sleep whenever possible!) and I was completing my nightly routine I’ve had in place since the new year. Brush my teeth, skincare routine, read my book, write 1 thing I am grateful for in my gratitude journal, and then do my new devotional, “100 Days to Brave” by Annie F. Downs followed by prayer. This devo is absolutely perfect for me as I selected ‘fearless’ as my word of the year for 2019. I’m laying down, reading the devotional allocated for Day 4 and the words really resonated with me.

This devo entry asked us to examine our own lives and the lives of people around us to examine the ways in which we exhibit bravery. It asked the question, “When we see brave out in the world, it inspires us, doesn’t it?” and stated, “I think when you hear other stories, they will sound like your story, and you will realize you are braver than you give yourself credit for.”

The action step: When you see brave, say so. 

I found myself pondering this and thinking about my word… fearless. I sat there reminding myself to take action, to be an encourager, to say speak out when I see someone being brave. This is what I’m being called to do, despite fear or insecurity. Okay, God, I see you. I’ll try, I guess.

So the title of this blog is “See Brave, Be Brave” but there’s also a little step that falls between those… say brave.

Last night, I wasn’t in a good mental headspace. We’re all allowed to have those days. Days where even though life is good, we are sad or frustrated or upset or <insertemotionhere.> I was just feeling kind of internally yucky for no reason. I tried not to think much of it and put it behind me as I was getting ready to go out with a couple of friends…

While I was putting on my makeup, I saw a friend of mine had posted that she was out with a gal pal after she had gone through a breakup. Without thinking, I replied and offered some encouragement, “tell her she’s a queen and will bounce back better. she has girls everywhere who have been there and are still currently there who metaphorically have her back.” because, duh. she does. I remember exactly how she feels.

If you’ve ever been there, sister, you remember exactly how it feels to go out the first time after a breakup. You’re already emotionally drained but hoping extroversion with close friends will somehow fill your empty cup or make you forget about the shizzzzstorm of your life. You smile because you’re so thankful for your friends but inside you’re still hurting. It’s a hard night. You scan every bar for their face and familiar places remind you of memories you’d rather store away in the far-off portion of your brain. I get it. I just wanted this girl to know that she isn’t alone and that I understand that she is being so freaking brave.

This message I sent lead to a short, soul-filling conversation between myself and a group of gals in a different city. They fed love right back into me. They made me smile. They reminded me who I am. They reminded me just a small piece of my purpose. I ended the interaction with a smile on my face and a rejuvenated sense of self after an evening where my mental headspace was far from positive.

This is when I remembered the graphic above… “when you feel unloved, give love.” As I sit here now, tears well up in my eyes. By giving love in that moment, these girls filled the part of my heart that had been hurting. This interaction exemplified the words that had been spoken into my heart by my devotional.

That girl was being brave. I said so. They filled me with love. They reminded me that I, too, am brave.

So I hope that as you read this today you can think of one person in your life who has been brave lately; someone who may need some love poured into them; someone who has been chasing a dream; someone who has been battling a demon. See brave, say brave, be brave. Be inspired by the people around you, because I’m sure when you look close enough they are doing some truly fantastic things. I’m sure you are too.

always,

Alex